Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Everybody's a winner...


That my friends is what we like to call a load of garbage.

So last night we were watching the Jazz game, just drinking some DDP (diet dr. pep = wayyyyy better than DC obviously because it has 23 flavors or something like that, but not bagging on DC because thats great just not as good) and the bottle told me that everyone was a winner. So I tried to make Aubree go online to redeem our prize. Little did I know you have to jump through infinity hoops to even get to the part where it says click here to redeem your prize. After spending what felt like an hour getting to that point typing in fake names and email addresses so I wouldn't get 90000000000 spam emails or my identity stolen, I was finally at the point where I thought I could redeem my prize only to be re-routed to the EA game (aka worst prize ever, I was thinking more like free DDP for a year) website... where I was asked to type in a whole bunch of more information.... Thanks but no.

I just wanted everyone to know don't try to redeem your free prize. It is not worth spending 2 hours online to try to get some gay EA sports game that you will never play and even if you do you will probably hate it just because you will be receiving 5 million emails from DR pep and EA telling you to buy their products. At the rate you will be deleting your emails you wont even have time to play and will just have to set it so the computer plays the computer so you can semi watch while you delete your emails and wonder why the hell you thought it would be a good idea to redeem that stupid "Free" prize in the first place.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Always Wear Sunscreen...



"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.


Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.


But trust me on the sunscreen."


-Kurt Vonnegut



If you like this check out the song made with this speech... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ